This was my hair?!

Jeff and I... about 16 years ago.

Jeff and I… about 16 years ago.

The photo that you see in this entry was taken about 16 years ago. It was at my mother’s 70th birthday party. I like this photo very much because it brings happy memories. When that photo was taken, Jeff (my now husband) and I had been dating for about 4 years and we were very much in love.

I have this photo in the refrigerator because it reminds me of all that good time in our lives. Nevertheless, in the last months that photo is a continuous reminder of something else: I used to have beautiful healthy hair. What in the world happened to it?!

Just one of the locks of hair falling over my shoulder in the photo equals to my whole hair now. It is sad to see what it once was. I guess this happens also with the whole aging process: body, skin and hair never get to be what they used to be in our youth. Up to a point the only solution is resignation, because it is true that it is impossible to stop time. We need to embrace our new selves and get the best out of it.

Nevertheless I still refuse to embrace the current state of my hair. I believe there is much I can do in order to improve it. So, I am doing everything I can in order to achieve something close to what I had one day.

My hair had been terribly damaged and abused even before the alopecia showed up; it had thinned considerably and it was mostly dry and lifeless.

Therefore, I have decided that if I recover my hair I will stop the compulsive drying, styling, dying or sun exposure. I will focus in good healthy food and vitamins. I will keep taking the Biotin (will talk about it later on a different entry), a multivitamin, I will keep using the minoxidil; I will invest in good shampoos, and I will try as much as I can to get my stress under control.

And I swear it is not vanity (or maybe it is)… it is just that I miss my hair!

 

 

 

The seven stars mallet

According to the Wood Library Museum of Anesthesiology  the Chinese mallet http://woodlibrarymuseum.org/museum/item/503/moxibustion  (also known as qixingzhen and plum-blossom needle tapping) is a Chinese ancient practice related to acupuncture. The mallet is made out of flexible plastic and it has typically seven needles in the head.

One has to grab the mallet by the handle and repeatedly tap the area of the body where the acupuncture points are. The library goes on to say that “the force and speed with which the tapping is applied varies, based on the purpose and location of the therapy. It may be used for a number of conditions including headache, arthritis pain, dysmenorrhea, stomachache, insomnia, constipation, and certain skin diseases,” including alopecia.

Chinese Mallet

Chinese Mallet

I was kind of surprised by the lack of information on this device on the Internet and I only learned about it because of my nephew, who learned about it through his mom (my wonderful sister in law, Laura).

Laura is the wife of my brother the neurologist, they met in medical school long time ago. And while he pursued a career in neurology, she did it in natural medicine. She has a huge knowledge in homeopathy, acupuncture and other natural alternatives to medicine. She even went to China to study acupuncture.

Well, now I know that when my nephew was diagnosed with alopecia areata and looked for the help of traditional medicine, Laura insisted on trying the mallet. Finally he agreed (he is already an adult… so no easy to tell him what to do) and, according to him, after the first couple of weeks of using the mallet he started to see hair re-grow.

So, I started, everyday for three minutes that I split between the bald spots. The spots ended up covered with blood, but apparently that is how it is supposed to be. Then I cleaned the spots with alcohol and  repeat the following day.

On my last trip to Mexico I met with Laura and she asked me to bring it out the mallet to show me the correct way to do it. She did it harder than I ever did giving me some breaks to recover from the pain. That session with Laura draw a lot of blood… I could see the faces of my brother and sister sitting in front of me quite impressed. She told me that I didn’t have to use it every day, I could take breaks but I have to tap more strongly.

In one of the few websites that talk about this therapy I found a link in  http://www.ehow.com/how_5771914_use-acupuncture-treat-hair-loss.html

I have seen some hair re-grow. But I have to confess that by know I have no idea what has worked and what not of the many things I have done. I will talk more about my incipient (but precious) hair in a following post.

The almighty Chinese mallet

Martillo chino

As I have mentioned in previous postings, it turns out that now that I have alopecia areata I have found out that a bunch of other people have had it too. One of those affected by the disease was one of my nephews, who told me that he has had two bouts of bald spots and no recurrence in the last two years.

 

When he found out that I had Alopecia he got in touch with me and he told me: “I really recommend you to use the Chinese mallet.”

 

“What is that?” I said, and he explained that it was a little mallet with little needles in one end. To use it one has to basically hammer the area affected with the needles and one has to expect blood to come out.

 

After a few inquiries here in Cuba I realized there was NO way that I could find such a mallet in here. I got in touch again with my nephew and asked him if I could use a fork for the same purpose. He said “no,” it had to be the Chinese mallet. So he sent me his with my sister.

 

In the minute I touch the device I knew the procedure was going to hurt, but my nephew told me he started to see hair in his bald spots very soon after starting to use the mallet. He also sent me by email a link to a video that show how to use it:

 

 

You saw the video? You saw that BaldieGirl saying that it is painful? Well, let me tell you something: it is painful and bloody.

I am using it, although right now I am taking a break from it. In a future entry I will talk more about it and more about how my nephew got his hands on this mysterious device.

Not depressed… but in need of antidepressants

This is seratonin, the neurotransmitter that Zoloft inhibits and that plays a role in the persons mood.

This is seratonin, the neurotransmitter that Zoloft inhibits and that plays a role in the persons mood.

Since the very first day I discovered my bald spots and I called my brother (the neurologist) in panic, he suggested that I should start an antidepressant regime. He said that for my case the best medication was Sertraline (commercially sold by the name Zoloft).

My first response at that time was that I was not depressed; actually I was very happy having just returned from a very nice vacation. Still he said that such medication would help control the anxiety that was causing the alopecia areata and the panic and the extra anxiety that resulted from the hair loss.

The following morning before going to the beach I looked unsuccessfully for the medication in two pharmacies close to our place. They didn’t have it. Then I talked about it with Carlos (my psychiatrist) at the beach that morning and he recommended waiting, not to take medications right away. I decided to wait.

But four weeks after the diagnosis I decided that I was going to find and take the medication. My mood swings were not many but they were very drastic. I could easily go from happy and optimistic, to sad and devastated, to anxious and terrified in any day.

After three very bad days I told Carlos that regardless his opinion I was going to follow the recommendations of my brother. At that moment he agreed that taking the drug could be beneficial in my case.

So I called every pharmacy in Cuba just to find that there was no Sertraline at the time in the coutry. Nevertheless my sister was visiting in a few days and she brought it with her.

The first few days after taking 50 mg of Sertraline in the morning I struggled with some nausea (pretty severe the first day) and also with some drowsiness.

But after more than a month on Zoloft I feel fine, the side effects are gone and I haven’t felt sad or anxious in several weeks, I feel optimistic and happy. My husband says that he could immediately tell when the drug was taking effect, because overnight I stopped talking about my hair all day long.

Grieving for our hair

Me, some years ago, with the hair I miss so much!

Me, some years ago, with the hair I miss so much!

Lately, since I discovered my bald spots, I have been thinking way to much about hair, about what it means, about what would I do without it, about how to fix my situation and about how much this disease has disrupted me.

I have been remembering a lot an episode with my friend Inocencia, in Houston. She had breast cancer and she underwent a successful mastectomy, radiation and chemotherapy and after several years she is still cancer free.

As it usually happens in these cases, during the chemotherapy treatment she lost all her hair. Unlike me (with alopecia areata), Inocencia was battling a deadly disease; one that could have easily taken her life. She knew that the hair loss was a result of the treatment and therefore it was temporary. She was certain that the hair was going to grow back. That is a certainty that patients with alopecia areata don’t have; we know it is likely the hair will grow back but we don’t know it for sure, we don’t know when it could happen, we don’t know when the bald spots will stop growing and we don’t know if we would loose our hair again once we have recovered.

I read once that the only certain thing about alopecia areata is its uncertainty.

Going back to Inocencia I remember well a conversation we had with a mutual friend, Sandra. Inocencia was happy the treatments were over and the hair was slowly growing back. Still she was wearing a wig. We asked her to show us her new hair and she did. She removed her wig and showed us her bald head filled with little hairs starting to show. She looked beautiful!

After that she told us that the worst part of her illness had been loosing her hair, it have been even worse than loosing her breast.

I was stunned. How can someone be focusing in the hair (that will come back)?! Instead of her breast (that will never come back)?! Or the illness (that could come back)?!

It was just beyond me, I couldn’t understand it. Besides, she looked beautiful bald.

After the first night, the first day and the first week carrying my bald spots and doing everything to conceal them I have understood (the hard way) the importance Inocencia gave to her hair. The breast is not visible, neither is the cancer, but the baldness is the first thing someone will notice… it is the first thing that tells the world that something is not right.

I know I am not going to die from alopecia areata, I know that it is likely the hair will grow back, but still I am grieving for the lost hair. I understand now.

 

Got to run!

maraton

Me, crossing the finish line of my first (and so far only) whole marathon, in 2005.

The same Saturday of Veronica’s wedding (March 23) I called my mom at night. She told me that se had talked to my brother (the neurologist) about my situation, about the Alopecia Areata. She told me that my brother had said I needed to run.

I have been a runner for a good part of my adult life. For many years I ran every single day, even if it was just for 15 minutes. Something lacked in my day when ever I missed a run.

Nevertheless for the last few months I haven’t run much and I have actually let weeks and months go by without doing it.

The reason I gave myself for not running was the cough I battled and that apparently was a result of a strep infection (the one I am treating with penicillin), an injured toe (now healed), the pounds I gained and that made me feel heavy while running, and the fact that I was overall out of shape mainly because… I was not running.

It is a vicious cycle: not running made me a worst runner and made me want to run less.

Havana doesn’t help either, I live in a city where there are no good places to run. My favorite is the esplanade of 5th Avenue (5ta Avenida), but there is no shade, lots of smoke coming from old cars, traffic noise and very hard ground.

The issue here, according to my brother, is the endorphins. Basically I have got my body used to this morphine-like substance for years and then just stopped.

Endorphins (“endogenous morphine”), according to Wikipedia, “are endogenous opioid peptides that function as neurotransmitters. They are produced by the pituitary gland and the hypothalamus in vertebrates during exercise, excitement, pain, consumption of spicy food, love and orgasm, and they resemble the opiates in their abilities to produce analgesia and a feeling of well-being.”

So, my body could be resenting that daily endorphin “high” and therefore getting stressed and reacting in a way that was making my hair fall out.

Marathon

Me, finishing a half marathon, some years ago.

This is actually a well researched fact: runners do experience a “high” and one can assume that if a regular runner (like me) stops running (like me) he or she could experience withdrawal symptoms.

It made perfect sense. After the talk to my mom I called my brother and he told me: “you got to run again.” Immediately after hanging up I put my running shoes on and I went out for a three mile run. It was difficult, I had to stop several times and walk, but since then I have been doing it every day, even if it is just for 20 minutes and I have to say that after a month I am starting to feel again the benefits of the exercise: that daily energy, the regular doses of endorphins, a slimmer and stronger body, a clearer mind, and an overall sense of wellbeing. This may help my hair grow back.